Alyssa had her very first public meltdown today. I use the term “nuclear” for the blog title because Dan used it to describe how I exploded during a marital spat we had a few weeks back, and if how I acted that day is anything like how Alyssa acted today, the term DEFINITELY applies.
So, we’re in Target. I’m there to exchange a shirt and grab a cake mix. I exchange the shirt and pick up a cake mix, and as we’re headed to the checkout registers Alyssa latches onto a new movie. Super Space Buddies? Something like that. Anyway, I tell her that we’re not getting that today, I’m only here for a cake mix. She pouts and whines and does her little huffy glare routine at me, but I think nothing of it because I’ve seen and heard it all before.
Heh. If only I would have known. We get in line, and I take the DVD from her in preparation for handing it over to the cashier. Out comes the lip and the tears. She starts crying. When I physically hand over the DVD to the cashier, the crying escalates into wailing. The cashier rings up my purchase as quickly as possible, while looking very disapproving and displeased. I apologize for Alyssa making such a scene, swipe my credit card, collect my bag and my wailing preschooler, and drag her out to the car.
By the time we get to the car, the wailing has escalated to furious shrieking. “I WANT THE MOVIE. BUY THE MOVIE. I WANT THE MOVIE MOMMY. GO BACK TO TARGET AND GET IT NOW. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
I was in disbelief, to be honest. Alyssa was acting like I’ve heard and seen other kids do, and NOTHING like the Alyssa I know. What the fuck happened? I was so shocked by how nuts she went that I called Dan and put him on speaker phone so that he could hear firsthand. He didn’t even realize it was Alyssa at first.
She shrieked and screamed in the car for a few minutes, but I simply told her, “Alyssa, we are not getting the movie and that’s that. You cannot always get what you want. END OF DISCUSSION.” and refused to answer her anymore. I turned the stereo up and tuned her out for the drive home.
And once we got home? I handed her over to Dan, who escorted her straight to her room and got her ready for a nap. As for me, I popped a few Tylenol and relaxed with some music and blogging.
Please tell me that this is also a stage?
My name is Jenn, and I'm 27 years old. I'm happily married to my best friend and soulmate, Daniel. Together we have a seven year old daughter named 
Name: Alyssa
Name: Ryan
Could she possibly be learning it from the other kids at the preschool? I certainly hope not, but it’s a possibility. As far as I can tell it’s a stage, although I’ve seen kids as old as 9 or 10 doing it in the stores, which always makes me want to smack the parents!
Charitys last blog post..I need direction…
My little nephew is 5 years old and has these types of temper tantrums whenever he is tired/stressed/overwhelmed. I have found a great technique for dealing with this type of temper tantrum. First, once getting him to the car i ignore him until he calms down, this usually means me sitting in the car taking deep breaths while he is screaming at me, turning up music helps a little too, and i tell him when he is ready to talk to let me know. Once he calms down enough to hear me, and i start asking him questions. The conversation goes like this
Me: I understand that you really really wanted that movie, and guess what, i wanted to get you that movie but do you think that screaming and yelling made me want to get that movie for you?
Him: (saddly) no
Me: I was very embarrassed and sad that you choose to act that way in the store. How should we act when we are in the store?
Him: Good.
Me: Should we cry and scream, even if we don’t get what we want.
Him: No
Me: Do you think that you screaming and crying makes me want to buy that movie for you.
Him: No
Me: We won’t be able to get that movie this time, but what do you think you can do next time to earn that movie.
Him: Be good, and not cry and scream.
Me: That sounds like a good plan, what do you need to say now.
Him: Im sorry
Me: For
Him: Not listening and screaming and crying.
Me: I forgive you and i love you.
- you get the point. I find validating there feelings and frustrations help calm them down and they get to realize that behavior is not rewarded and their choices have some sort of consequence. After the first few times, he now only throws fits if he is really tired or hungry.
Whitneys last blog post..Cut it Out! Transfats and Soda
Yep. It is a stage. They do it to see if they get what they want. As long as you continue not giving her what she wants and ignoring her behavior, it will pass eventually. But take into consideration that it could take a few scenes like this one until she learns it is not worth it and stops it.